TEXT RAGE – bit poetry by r. stevie moore all work strictly copyright 2010 TEXT RAGE – bit poetry Didn’t wait, did I? Wouldn’ta mattered Cause it don’t Didn’t wait, did I? It wouldn’tve mattered anyway Cause it don’t, really. Lookin for Mr. Goodwrench It’s the Glimpse! Mama, mama! Children, stop your nursing! It’s the Glimpse! Lookin for Mr. Goodwrench Sick of singing about girls Cause I can’t find any Lookin for Mrs. Goodwrench Glimpse! I’m sick of singing about trucks Cause I can’t drive any I’m sick of singing about trucks Cause I can’t fyeng any I’m sick of singing about me Cause you won’t find any Glimpse! That look you gave me Fleeting You must be lookin for Mr. Goodwrench. Rob Grill Sweat in the folds under my breasts You crossed my mind a thousand times today Quality drugs? Rob Grill Mat said that This coming decade What’s on your mind, Rob Grill? The revolution is right where we want it Out of our control Sweat in the folds under my breasts Nabob gotcha shredmaestro DJ Kaili Menogue Pogue going rogue Roguer Freguson vs Rob Grill. Oh my English springer spaniel Doggystyle Staffordshire lamp Rockabilly rayon Shadowplaid shy Rainy Friday weekend is a good time to fly Strawberry buttermilk biscuit You need a love butter Just can’t risk it Oh my English springer spaniel Doggystyle Staffordshire lamp Butterdish descant en ser des ce kanter You know you need De love biscuit Butterdish smear Rockabilly rayon Shadowplaid shy I yam in love with Christopher Thai Census 2010 Wait a minute, U ain’t heard nothing yet Come full of pep! No admittance here [sic] Extend thy grasp A little travelling music Census 2010 Seeking solutions with Suzanne, oh I’ve heard that tearstained monologue you do there By the door before you go Packs a considerable wallop How did I not know that? Wait a minute, U still ain’t heard nothing yet Progress, extend thy grasp Census 2010 Twinge Tweenge twoange Go to your room Twinge Tweenge twoange Go to your room Hep me out heah Billy Hep me out heah Roger hep me out heah Pete hep me out heah Cud hep me out heah Joe hep me out heah Myron hep me out heah Squatty hep me out heah Vic hep me out heah. Almaden Mountain Chablis Gallo Merlot Cabernet Savignon Do you accept Bank Americard? No? Dad, I need that 20. I am looking for a guy or a girl To help me fix my acoustic guitar By putting a jack in the bottom of the strap peg So I can plug in my jack cord Directly into the bottom Anus of my guitar Can’t seem to take care of that I need a guy or a girl To get that done And bring it back And I can pay them Five figures in a reward settlement Y’see, what I been usin’ over the years Old school One of them acoustic pick-ups That you hafta insert into the round hole And there’s this awkward cord that comes out Not long enough Gets in the way of the strumming hand Maybe someday I’ll catch up to the times Check, please! Privacy’s comin Better hang up my blanket Privacy’s comin Better hang up my blanket Privacy’s comin Better hang up my blanket Privacy’s comin Better hang up my blanket Peace Pipe Hot and juicy teen pussy Oh, I don’t know, I don’t know It’s about taking it down a notch Naw, that ain’t right at all It’s about taking it down a notch Nawp, wrong again It’s about taking it down a notch How could you even know? It’s about taking it down a notch That’s what I just said Well, take it down a notch I’ll take it down a notch. The Reverend Victor Lovera once wrote: “Thou art god.” Monotheism Pah. Next up for auction: A box of Bonine Meclasine hydrochloride It’s an anti-emetic 8 tablets, it’s chewable once-a-day protection It prevents motion sickness It works 4 times longer Causes less drowsiness Bonine, people Works up to 4 times longer and Causes less drowsiness Than original Dramamine And this package is raspberry flavored Do I have a first bid? Bonine Directory assistance, may I help you? Yes? What’s the name? Frank? What’s that last name again? Balesteri, Frank Balesteri? E? Do you have an address? No address Many addresses I don’t have time, sir! I will luck him up Bales- E? With an i? Balesteri? Frank Bales- oh! Sir, Frank Balesteri’s dead. Flomax, part 2 I go to bed at 10 and 11 I have to get up at 2 To relieve my bladder Excruciating pain I go back to bed I gotta get back up around 5 To relieve my bladder It’s over 50 prostate enlargement Somebody explain Flomax Splain I come back and go to bed When I wake up around 7 I have to go relieve my bladder What shall I do? What’s that? You have sound for emphasis You are emphatic Turn it up I can’t hear it What’s that, you say? You have sound for emphasis You turn the volume up You are emphatic What’s that, you say? I can’t hear it Turn it up! 650 WSM, R. Stevie Moore And we just heard the new remaster From the original Breetles album called “Squares in Pairs” I think that came from 2000 1000 9 And going backwards we heard Lysie Pay for the Check She’s Buying Not the Only Girl Jolene Revenge part 2 (I like that one) And Hang On To Everything We’ll be right back / And we’re back now WBLS Celebrating the new remaster of “Squares in Pairs” Sort of an unknown classic by The Breetles From the year 1006 And here comes Side 2 Tracks are called: Their Day Now, that’s t-h-e-i-r day Possessive ‘their’? Their day, they owned that day And, sorry to get distracted Have you noticed with people having problems online With the 3 theres! T-H-E-R-E T-H-E-I-R possessive And even worse is the contractual T-H-E-Y-apostrophe-R E Which is They Are, R Then came: I’m Not Crazy Squares and Pairs Theme TV Station Why Can’t I Feel What I Say? Supervisor Blues Belgian Holiday And we ended the set, Wait, we haven’t started! This is the upcoming set, coming up soon We’ll be right back. / And welcome back This is WABC Good Guys And I’m RSTVMO And we just heard the complete Breetles remaster For his 2nd album from 1006, called “Squares In Pairs” Hope you enjoyed it Weather We got the weather? It’s been pretty amazing Here’s the intense weather. Tiger Wood Not Things are slow all over Dear Prudential LaBrea Tarboots Tiger Wood Not Uh uh uh uh uh Shiftless Uh uh uh uh uh I got so much class I ain’t even used yet Uh uh uh uh uh Vietti chili Uh uh uh uh uh Mad chill Uh uh uh uh uh Claptrap Uh uh uh uh uh GSTPO Uh uh uh uh uh Florsheim Uh uh uh uh uh Replace your divots Uh uh uh uh uh Uh uh uh Coo Coo Marlin I declare Uh uh uh uh uh Don’t lose your head To gain a minute You need your head Your brains are in it! Uh uh uh uh uh Perpendicular footpaths Uh uh uh uh uh Neely Auditorium Uh uh uh uh uh Set a standard, Stevie Dime store Lps Vegeterrible Hey Will.i.am My castile of quite Y’all ain’t nuh’in And I was right! My castile of quite Y’all ain’t nuh’in And I was white! Oh ok Get the kids all out of the room by now I got some fuckin’ shit to bring on you here Get the kids out of here I got some shit, I got some shit I gotta fuckin’ Lay on you people Get the kids out Alright, I’ll wait Every time you open your mouth I am privileged to hear it Bravo! Encore! Hey Sharifa Every time you open your mouth I am within earshot Bullshit! Bravo! Encore! Hey lady Every time you enter my building Holding your cellphone I am privileged to hear it Bravo! Encore! Hey twinge Little Miss Tweenge twoange Come up to my room Hey lady twinge Princess twinge twoange Follow me Come up to my room I’m never going to touch another Guitar again Woman again Drink again Drug again Computer again Cellphone again Obscenity again Law again Sharpie again Forklift again 1040 again. Stimulating talk Fine particulates Hideous lump sum annuity Telebrands Oscar Brand I was once a Cheshire cat And I never gave way to you. Go to your room, my sons Go to your room, Beaver Go to your room, Wally Go to your room, without supper. Bit poetra Jill Horny What’s for brekkie? Put 5-wk old baby in the oven 375, baked on premises Reffic refuses to referee I am writing as fast as I can think I am writing as fast as my fingers will allow Medium slow, sluggish Sluggo Nancy was Copas’ babe Indigent The Counts of Nowhere at Saunder’s Ferry boat dock, meet The Bitter Sparrow at Hullabaloo Bell Grimes Lane sucks Dickerson Road Spits it out, and gags Tastes like paint Thinner? And U call this dinner? I’ll take U to court, Jester Anyone for tennis-on? Close yet so far MP3, you won’t listen to me CDR, you still believe in me I wasn’t ready, aren’t you? Unlike you, I can do everything No visionary fulfillment Satch and Slip Mahoney Baloney pony express Sasha Frere-Jones-E Xray Anger manager You’ll know when you see it And you call this dinner? My DeSoto has been recalled For malfunctioning clutch Clutch Too much Crutchfield, Robin Meade Headline nuke And this was your health minute. Aaaauuugggh! What’s the matter? Well, I’m having a panic attack I have an anxiety disorder So, don’t panic. Relax! Oh, it’s that easy, is it? What’s your secret? She’s sound asleep. Well, I think it’s, uh, A B C, D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y & Z I Y Now I do my numbers 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 and on up 5 9 9 5 Y I reckon Hey how do I look? I just took a shower Notice any change? It’s a lot better, isn’t it? Come here, look You like it? I just took a shower. Saint Patrick Mathe The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure Chris Prentiss Corned beef and cabbage? Green Patrick The Alcoholism and Addiction Cure Green Chris Prentiss Corned beef and cabbage? The Green Alcoholism and Addiction Cure Chris Green Prentiss Green corned beef and cabbage? Bono Roo Be prepared What was that? Remember? Boy Scouts motto? Be prepared Bit poetry Jill’s warning What’s for brekkie? Put 5-wk old baby in the oven 375, baked on premises Home alone shark Some reasoning Is that your phone? You lost me, how does it feel? It doesn’t? Needs to be in on Teterboro calling Bit poetry And that’s our dinner? This is The Voice Living in 20-10 will be our subject for this evening 20-10? I don’t think so, not yet Two thousand ten But, like 19 . . in the past Eventually we’ll drop the “thousand” word And revert to “twenty” I hope that answers your question Pump up the jam Pump it up While the body’s thumpin’ Get your booty on the floor tonight Make my day Bit poetry. This is the Voice I’m inside of my own mouth room Voiceroom Living in 2010 will be our subject for this evening And category A What? You didn’t like the way I said that Take 2 Keep up good work Keep up good work Keep up good work Keep up good work Keep up good work Keep up good work Keep up good work Bit poetry. Did I tell you about this guy? I saw this guy I told ya? Naw, I didn’t tell ya yet Got a second? There’s this guy outside I was looking at him through the window He’s out over on the sidewalk near the hedge And I guess he worked for the company that has the building Or maybe the government Who knows, the town? He was doing some yardwork over by the hedge And I noticed he was trying to clean up some leaves That had fallen from the tree above That old tree You know that big old tree? He was cleaning up the leaves Right by the hedge He started cuttin’ up the leaves One at a time Cuttin’ up a leaf With a marshmallow Cuttin’ leaves with marshmallows I don’t know how he does it I don’t think he was having much luck It was across the street I can’t see that far I got my binoculars He wasn’t cuttin’ any leaves at all! How can you cut You can’t cut a leaf with a marshmallow Our tax dollars at work, I guess OK, I’ll get back to ya Hold on, goodnight. Please get just two rolls every two days Keeps them from spoiling Getting those little green dots Are those green dots harmful? I pick ‘em out And use the bread Not very good But I’m scared of those green dots Rs Gratia Rtis Rs gratia rtis Hurricane Cynthia Hurricane Julian Rs Gratia Rtis Martin Lewis Rs Gratia Rtis Hurricane Yoko Hurricane Shine Get 2 rolls every 2 days Talking as music As part of a heart healthy diet The soluble fiber in me Can help lower your cholesterol As part of a heart healthy diet The soluble fiber in me Can help lower your cholesterol As part of a heart healthy diet The soluble fiber in me Can help lower your cholesterol UPS truck’s here. BRB We’ll be right back B right back When we come back A disclaimer Welcome back Yeah I know, I’m not supposed to be singing Supposed to just keep this as talking But I’m just feeling so nice and good today It’s beautiful outside I just can’t resist Love is a many splendored thing. Someone will object And that’s how you know It’s a good idea. I miss krys The genuine article Which krys? Omg The wicked witch of the west The wicked witch of the west The wicked witch of the west The wicked witch of the east The wicked witch of the east The wicked witch of the weast The wicked witch of the weast Are you timing me? The wicked witch of the north The wicked witch of the north The wicked witch of the south The wicked witch of the south The wicked witch of the west Which krys? I want to record me reading text from the computer But that means I got to carry the microphone To the other part of the room It’s too much trouble I need to sometimes print out What’s on the computer So I can bring the piece of paper Over to the other side of the room Where the microphone is When will I get it together? Rs gratia Rtis Wellmont Zappa Volz had extra ticket Son couldn’t go January 16th 8pm Montclair I leave at 6:15 Dinner with Chris and Nancy Grace Have fun at home Save that burger and salad, Dweezil! Son of obituary Twinge tweenge twoange Go to my tomb Twinge tweenge twoange Insertion your womb Twinge tweenge twoange Doom and gloom Twinge tweenge twoange To whom (it may concern) Twinge tweenge twoange Danger looms Twinge tweenge twoange Billy Mumi Twinge help me out tweezers Enroll at Hume-Fogg Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh Guh You’re not listening to Michael Shelleyan Orphan Frank Balesteri had a rap group From Montclair/East Orange Circa 1992-3 Called The Orfinz Featuring the leaderman Git Loose (GL) FYI Ah, we’re back, it’s midnight WMFU motherfucker My name’s Uncle Eeef And we just heard a long set Errorism Beautiful Lullaby Going backwards here Edit Presley Closing Credits Those Mathematicians X 2 Blue Snowball Walk Softly darlin’ I’m Comin’ Ooh Lady John Mayer and Jessica Simpson Where’s My Whiskey? And we started out the set a long time ago With It’s Not True It isn’t Motherfucker Seeking Solutions With Suzanne Welcome This is the time of year When I so enjoy going outside And seeing all the little children with very little clothes on I take my camera and take pictures of them And bring them back Life is wonderful And youth is even better than that I remember back in Des Moines When we used to go out on the first day of spring To the community company pool And everybody was half naked I couldn’t control myself It’s Adam and Eve So let’s all get together outdoors And look at the little children Get up close And bring your camera. Well, imagine that Where we going with this here? Trying to get comfortable Relax It ain’t gonna happen I need a massage The past twenty years And one wouldn’t do it I need about a hundred of ‘em Then check back for results My life has come to a halt. A bad habit tendency to work on: Stevie, don’t attack Just ignore. I’ve said it all before No one thought it was that important So I’ve stopped, for good. Now suddenly, it was important? Everybody’s doin’ it, doin’ it, doin’ it Pickin’ their nose and chewin’ it, chewin’ it Some think it’s candy, but it’s not It’s really cold boogers and hot snot. Yeah, this is the big bad blogster Headline newsanchor ladybabes Got this disturbing new trend Upturned Linguistics? They’re reading sentences Which end as if in questions? Slightly condescending? As if they’re intending to clarify? That which they assume that You don’t understand? Like you’ve not been paying attention? To them stating the obvious? The adult teacher instructing Us young students? Pupils? It’s kind of hard to describe it to you Without you hearing it So, my plan is to Hafta tape it Examples of proof Susan Hendricks and Christy Paul And some of the other ones who are Just as good as runway models In my book? Her behind is mine I got it real cheap: I found it. Her behind is mine You came in here with teeth, Do you wanna leave with teeth? Ye shall know the truth and The truth shall make you free. Her behind is mine That can be arranged I got it real cheap: I found it. Her behind is mine I got it real cheap. I found it. Would you call me a cab? You’re a cab! I gave at the office Why chance it? Let me finish! Liverwurst J Mascis on Jay Leno J-Lo for Jay Reatard Why chance it? Let me finish! Gift ban Asbestos The one who loses the least money is a big winner I have heard OF them but not their music I gave at the office Why chance it? You want me to do something else for you As if I don’t (already) do enough? Pole strap LLP – limited liability partnership I gave at the office Why chance it? Let me finish! My next album will be quite the stunner (just like my last ten were) Let me finish! Hat city intuitive I gave at the office Neither Chilton nor Hitchcock Why chance it? Let me finish! Text rage Solution? Hand sanitizer Text rage Solution? Hand sanitizer Bit poetry Solution? Mouth sanitizer Verify Text rage Solution? Hand sanitizer Text rage Solution? Get rid of those typewriters, Why doncha say! The little midget desks You carry around in your mouth And put ‘em in your ear Shocking Shocking Walkie talkie I’ll never do it! I need to gargle Do a search on gargle See what kinda keywords I could come up with To find the best results I’m putting all my eggs in one basket Pick yourself up, I’ll be hard to handle I gave at the office Unable to come to terms with you I’m putting all my eggs in one basket Gradually lost its luster This just ain’t a good day for leaving Debonaire fricke and frack Unable to come to terms with me Stubborn, kind, Othello Don’t move, if you know what’s good for you The advancement of colored pens Ctrl Alt Delete Rib rub Unable to come to terms with you I’m open for anything. Thumbs I’m gonna cut off all your thumbs, world Then you wouldn’t be able to communicate Thumbs You don’t see me sittin’ around with my thumbs Come over here, honey Look, thumbs! My left thumb and my right thumb Pickin’ away like an animal on the prairie I’m gonna chop off all their thumbs Thumbs Is this a comedy record? File under humor With Rudy Ray Moore In front of or behind Heh heh heh heh heh Morlocks The house is not in order Secure horizons Closet cosmosis The house is not in order Morlocks Transition device Assumes good faith Outmoded sensibilities Courtroom bathroom leak Morlocks The house is not in order Due process, we digress Hurry, see if you qualify Verify Posthumorous comptroller Acidic ridicule The house is not in order It’s pretty clear that you have no idea What you are talking about I couldn’t write a plain song if I tried When I have tried, it comes out as satire or parody or satire The house is not in order Dictatorial memorial But bet I didn’t, but bet, but bet Bet your life, Bett My father used to call my mother Bett I feel a cerebral hemorrhage coming on fast With fries Jealous, zealous, tell us, fellas Yella submarine sandwich from Subway The house is not in order The embodiment of progressive ideals This is the greatest day of my life So far Morlocks Blimpie base Don’t come back now, y’hear? The race is on And here comes pride up the back stretch Look out, coming by the wayside Liquid paper Nesmith white-out Racist trend Your racist friend Racist concept Racist conception Dark goes invisible It’s erased When the white son rises Comes up over the horizon Up your block Day beats night every time Well, the race is on And here comes love at the outside Liquid paper Nesmith white-out Racist trend Dark goes invisible When the white sun rises Comes up over that horizon Up your block Day eats the night every time. You can call me Ray You can call me Blu-ray But ya don’t hafta call me Johnny Ray, Billy Ray, or Diane Renay renal More is overrated Less is better More is underrated Less is unrelated To Mary Ford Tater platters My staff briefed me on it You may not right mouseclick this page But nevertheless I’m examining the logistics of your Buddy Lee Attractions parallel hamlet Glib contempt Cut the dailies I pout to get my way Get your coat I’ll get my coat Ursula Andress undress for me Send your email address to me But you don’t hafta call me Quincy Jones Heads out tails out Google’s doodle dandy Don’t leave home without it Spectre. Text rage Sexed up underage, child Can’t find no over age, like me Text rage To myself with my thumbs Overage in the cash register Musta gave back too little change back Text rage Sexed up over aged, like fine wine Still got some spunk left Pour me a glass Consume my seed Secede from the union Text rage Touch you Masterpiece flesh Tom Tresh Stop them! It’s a good thing I filmed her younger That girl’s gone now But I kept her purty body in formaldehyde On DVD Text rage? Spin man! Stevie Joe McAlister, Tallahachie bridgework Live to play live Been there done that Live to play live I don’t think so It killed me Now don’t be fooled I ain’t makin all this stuff up as I go along In every room, I got a a little blank sheet of paper And a writin’ pen And whatever I think up, I jot down Spin man! Keith Richards fingers Swollen bone joints arthritis points Hurts bad, pretty sad Stiff and numb Dead cartilage in my thumb Keith and Richard’s finger paints Spin man! Wordplay, never cared for it Can’t even finish a sentence Retirement requirement I myself put a small stuffed animal In the rear window of my car Lil Cutie on board Wordplay, never cared for it Susan Boyle crisis It’s the mileage that’s slowing me down Hey, a guy has to eat Johnnie and Jack, Jim and Jesse Floods across the nation Find the fatal flaw Wordplay, never cared for it It’s the mileage that’s slowing me down Harry Merry and the Must Mickie Most and the Gear Who’s you? Where you were? Wordplay, never cared for it Never cared for it. Move out! Y’all move out! Move out! Y’all move out! Move out! Y’all Move out! Hello! Hi, cat! What about it? What? Pearly gates Obit poetry BD Bondage & discipline Born and died Pearly gates Obit poetry Johnny maestro dead Everybody’s just standing in line Standing in line To die Sad?? Why y’all get sad? Lifespan means nothin’ They’re just Next in Line Pearly gates Obit poetry R U connected in their daily lives? Nawwww – they old Be glad Good riddance. Channel 5 Fox News Good Day New York New york fort Carolyn Gussoff pissed off Apparent homicide A lady giving birth Babies having babies having babies Some thug with gun Broke in and shot her head A robbery gone bad And Carolyn Gussoff is pissed off Monopoly money Cause of death: breath Can you smell the oral stench? Dental records _ and tapes Monotonous, honey And that makes Carolyn Gussoff pissed off Apparent homicide. Just 1 note Is that all you can sing? Just 1 note Is that all he can sing? Hey you guys, no music, remember? ========================================
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