"the embodiment of progressive ideals"
R. Stevie Moore
Alan Jenkins
and The Kettering Vampires
Cordelia Records 080 - Digipak CD, out 14 February 2018 (51:43)

OFFICIAL ISSUE CD (/29 tracks/autographed sealed digipack/) SALE US$15 + shipping

______________________________________| 01. 19 sweet tea (0:59 02. 10 the house is not in order (2:20 03. 11 cauliflower ear (1:57 04. 02 411 (1:23 05. -- squairs in pairs #1 ( 06. 05 hardly anyone (1:14 07. 03 bonine (1:32 08. 08 taking it down a notch (0:42 09. 20 no.1 vs. no1 (2:41 10. -- squairs in pairs #2 ( 11. 18 burst upon the scene (1:27 12. 16 go slow (2:33 13. 13 compostable bag (1:54 14. 14 my family (5:45 15. 17 hamburgers and hot dogs (1:21 16. 07 census 2010 (1:24 17. 12 electric my acoustic (3:08 18. 15 NSAID (1:31 19. -- strategiconfidence (2:03 20. 04 filthy selfies (1:58 21. 09 the glimpse (1:13 22. 22 bnaeta (1:34 23. 24 vanquished (0:36 24. -- squairs in pairs #3 ( 25. 06 ever do (1:43 26. 21 dogtail wag (1:09 27. 23 only love (1:31 28. 25 the gymn (2:14 29. 01 tea (7:08 __________________________________________| 01. "Sweet Tea" (0:59) origin: advanst Honey? Honey? Honey come here Drink my sweet tea Come here pour me another glass of that Sweet tea You want it unsweetend? and sour? Tea party hats 02. "The House Is Not In Order" (2:20) text rage Morlocks The house is not in order Secure horizons Closet cosmosis The house is not in order Morlocks Transition device Assumes good faith Outmoded sensibilities Courtroom bathroom leak Morlocks The house is not in order Due process, we digress Hurry, see if you qualify Verify Posthumorous comptroller Acidic ridicule The house is not in order Itís pretty clear that you have no idea What you are talking about I couldnít write a plain song if I tried When I have tried, it comes out as satire or parody or satire The house is not in order Dictatorial memorial But bet I didnít, but bet, but bet Bet your life, Bett My father used to call my mother Bett I feel a cerebral hemorrhage coming on fast With fries Ya jealous, zealous, tell us, fellas Yella submarine sandwich from Subway The house is not in order The embodiment of progressive ideals This is the greatest day of my life So far Morlocks Blimpie base Donít come back now, yíhear? 03. "Cauliflower Ear" (1:57) oral roberts Can you help me with this? Can you help me with this? Can you help me with this? Can you help me with this? That's what they all say Cauliflower ear That's what they all say Local papers, please copy Indie endy Can you help me with this? Your mother sucks c*cks in h*ll Now you has jazz Real feel, indy endie That's what they all say Real feel The Robinson Cano Show A minor skirmish Common sense is not on the guest list Can you help me with this? The horny comedians Cautionary tale Suffering sciatica Draggin' our feet That's what they all say Can you help me with this? There's one thing I've always wanted to do Before I quit: Retire I scrambled to appear responsive End of story. 04. "411" (1:23) text rage Directory assistance, may I help you? Yes? Whatís the name? Frank? Whatís that last name again? Balesteri, Frank Balesteri? E? Do you have an address? No address Many addresses I donít have time, sir! I will luck him up Bales- E? With an i? Balesteri? Frank Bales- oh! Sir, Frank Balesteriís dead. 05. "Squairs In Pairs #1" (0:00) text rage 650 WSM, R. Stevie Moore And we just heard the new remaster From the original Breetles album called ďSquares in PairsĒ I think that came from 2000 1000 9 And going backwards we heard Lysie Pay for the Check Sheís Buying Not the Only Girl Jolene Revenge part 2 (I like that one) And Hang On To Everything Weíll be right back / 06. "Hardly Anyone" [Lovera] (1:14) oral roberts Hardly one, hardly two I can't wait here for you Open up m-messenger You are the harbinger Hardly anyone can say it's me Hardly anyone knows my name, says the word I'm to blame, have you heard? Hardly anyone can hear the sound Hardly you or I Hardly anyone can hear the sound Hardly you or I 07. "Bonine" (1:32) text rage Next up for auction: A box of Bonine Meclasine hydrochloride Itís an anti-emetic 8 tablets, itís chewable once-a-day protection It prevents motion sickness It works 4 times longer Causes less drowsiness Bonine, people Works up to 4 times longer and Causes less drowsiness Than original Dramamine And this package is raspberry flavored Do I have a first bid? Bonine. 08. "Taking It Down A Notch" (0:42) text rage Oh, I donít know, I donít know Itís about taking it down a notch Naw, that ainít right at all Itís about taking it down a notch Nawp, wrong again Itís about taking it down a notch How could you even know? Itís about taking it down a notch Thatís what I just said Well, take it down a notch Iíll take it down a notch. 09. "No. 1 vs. No. 1" (2:41) spoiler alert R Macklemore pedobear For so many reasons on so many levels Do not block intersection Eliminate waste matter Prosthesis Defecate deficit Defecate deficit Electric fireplace Feels like, sonic footprint Ironic fingerprint sonic footprint Ironic fingerprint Wipe the windows, check the oil, dollar gas Puget Sound All caught up T. H. Seahawks Difficult to ascertain Number 1 vs. number 1 With love and kisses and bong hits Slash question mark equals How'd you get here equals A good reason With all due respect Slowdive shoegaze, gays Escalator going up You can sip from a straw in a glass of my pus You suck Spy dances Song Hits Magazine USC Trojans R-E-S-P-E-C-T Pussy, weed, beer A blast of aspirin Arizona iced tea Let's have a day Climbing Mount Foreverest I gotta go to class Sugar toast, egg toast I wouldn't want anybody to see me like this Expert testimony mony Don't let me get up Finish eatin' first Sittin' starin' out the window For the rest of my life Temperamental Neil Young Banana John Peel slowly and see Such drama You have to accept me as I am Well, you have to accept me as I am, too No I don't! 10. "Squairs In Pairs #2" (0:00) text rage And weíre back now WBLS Celebrating the new remaster of ďSquares in PairsĒ Sort of an unknown classic by The Breetles From the year 1006 And here comes Side 2 Tracks are called: Their Day Now, thatís t-h-e-i-r day Possessive Ďtheirí? Their day, they owned that day And, sorry to get distracted Have you noticed with people having problems online With the 3 theres! T-H-E-R-E T-H-E-I-R possessive And even worse is the contractual T-H-E-Y-apostrophe-R E Which is They Are, R Then came: Iím Not Crazy Squares and Pairs Theme TV Station Why Canít I Feel What I Say? Supervisor Blues Belgian Holiday And we ended the set, Wait, we havenít started! This is the upcoming set, coming up soon Weíll be right back. / 11. "Burst Upon The Scene" (1:27) spoiler Burst upon the scene Bursting at the seams The following pages have become unresponsive You can wait for them to become responsive or kill them I say, kill them The plot thickens Absoridic Make it Be I'll come back with you Pueblo Man of the world Tie me up Finesse to fool Math murderer Let mama feed you Careful, it's hot I have no idea what I'm doing except Feeling good Must you teach? Can't you learn? See a specialist Hit me with your algorithm stick Ignorance of ignorance is bliss. 12. "Go Slow" (2:33) spoiler Go slow Plate Go slow plate Lapse of judgement Dibble dabble drips 'n dribbles You're a urinal Triple travel, count me out Go slow Mother of Jehovah Yeezus Jobriath defiance Catch your breath You know you're out of sight, out of mind Lime red tint forfeit default Go slow You can take a slow hike down the pike I run every red light on Memory Lane Sticky sweet, slightly salty Bogart and Hansen Sidepocket rocket science Go slow As authorized by the Federal Communication Commission Persistent frequency Don't fix what ain't broken Play back upon awakening Go slow Go on now Follow. 13. "Compostable Bag" (1:54) mind crack World's first 100% compostable chip package These are Sun Chips This bag is louder because it is compostable You're holding the world's first 100% compostable chip bag of its kind It's made from more than 90% renewable plant based materials And it breaks down completely in compost In a hot active home or industrial compost pile Don't compost yet? Learn more about our bag And what it's made of And how to compost effectively at sunchips.com Postable It dissolves. 14. "My Family" (5:45) spoiler My family is distorted, phasered, flanged and compressed Repeat after me. 15. "Hamburgers and Hot dogs" (1:21) spoiler Hamburgers and hot dogs Hungry? Here, have a hamburger and a hot dog With horseradish Who knew! Henry wants a hamburger With havardi cheese Homer wants a hot dog With hummus Who knew! Hell Have another hamburger and hot dog Half? Just half a hot dog? Nobody can eat just half a hot dog Have to have a whole one With horseradish Who knew! Who wants a hot hamburger And a horse radish? Who knew! Hand me a plate, one of each Hate heavy metal On a Hagstrom Hag strum Holy shit That's a hot hamburger. 16. "Census 2010" (1:24) text rage Census 2010 Wait a minute, U ainít heard nothing yet Come full of pep! No admittance here [sic] Extend thy grasp A little travelling music Census 2010 Seeking solutions with Suzanne, oh Iíve heard that tearstained monologue you do there By the door before you go Packs a considerable wallop How did I not know that? Wait a minute, you still ainít heard nothing yet Progress, extend thy grasp Census 2010. 17. "Electric My Acoustic" (3:08) text rage I am looking for a guy or a girl To help me fix my acoustic guitar By putting a jack in the bottom of the strap peg So I can plug in my jack cord Directly into the bottom Anus of my guitar Canít seem to take care of that I need a guy or a girl To get that done And bring it back And I can pay them Five figures in a reward settlement Yísee, what I been usiní over the years Old school One of them acoustic pick-ups That you hafta insert into the round hole And thereís this awkward cord that comes out Not long enough Gets in the way of the strumming hand Maybe someday Iíll catch up to the times Check, please! 18. "NSAID" (1:31) spoiler Popscreen Blame it on the Booze Tour 20, 14 Care package! Foam cervical neck collar Drag racism Detrious No evidence to support this claim Fudge packin' crack smokin' Satan worshipin' motherfucker Nsaid Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug N-S-A-I-D Care package Non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug Blinding headache Massive brain attack Bratmobile Chromosomes Bratmobile chromosomes Blame it on the Booze Tour 2,014 Thyroid rhoid I'm not in any pain but I can barely function Take comfort Gone missing Dogmatic Zine queen Teen zine If we survive long enough I see I.C. Hands down Worth investigating? I think not A slice of bread with headlights That said. 19. "Strategiconfidence" (2:03) spoiler West Circle A Heart cancer I wasn't tired, I was just drinking 4AM emails and texts Connecting with the big disconnect Can't sleep, can only weep Wifi crying About how dark and quiet is is You dread the sunrise Connection with the big disconnection It's gonna be another cold, cloudy day Grayscale semi-tone 5AM emails and texts Chatting with the empty void Is anybody home? Is anyone there? Locate a network Genital juice streaming only When it rains, it pours Salt on Stahlman Building Liver loaf impairment Hard cock rock Light metal glam, no disco Erectile dysfunction Viagra culture I've got angst in my pants worldwide I'm older than your parents Shall we pray? Hip hop bunny Bunny hip hop I see you're close-by Affluenza undoing Strategiconfidence Dumbwaiters Sunday morning's everyday for all I care Globeshift Hip hop bunny Bunny hip hop West Circle A What's my approval rate? Baby, put it on the desktop Decide later Harry Fox Agency Sports mustard Having some SM Dick Biondi Dick beyond Mine is beyond Tampon tea Establish trust Winter games Defy convention Profound nature Of this moment Seizure salad. 20. "Filthy Selfies" (1:58) oral I need... some LSD Ashes to be spread Jon's ice cream truck Staunch republic Intoxicasex The Shut Up and Shoot Documentary Guide 1 2 7b 5 high5+2&3b (koln airport) Koln - minor ninth I hear it's been reissued on Blu-Ray Bring the toilet seat down for the Ladies The Ladies? I also Pee sitting down Pee sitting down Filthy selfies. 21. "The Glimpse" (1:13) text rage Lookin for Mr. Goodwrench Itís the Glimpse! Mama, mama! Children, stop your nursing! Itís the Glimpse! Lookin for Mr. Goodwrench Sick of singing about girls Cause I canít find any Lookin for Mrs. Goodwrench Glimpse! Iím sick of singing about trucks Cause I canít drive any Iím sick of singing about trucks Cause I canít fyeng any Iím sick of singing about me Cause you wonít find any Glimpse! That look you gave me Fleeting You must be lookin for Mr. Goodwrench. 22. "BNAETA" (1:34) spoiler My fat fake Facebook friend Bumped into each other on the street Sidewalk Now you You know what I'm sayin' And I know that you do My fat fake Facebook friend Bumped into me on the street Sidewalk (same thing) Cousin It Not a chance Cousin It Not a chance Life Size That's the stuff! Yo, dawg Pitbull Bit-part Pit bullshit Me 3 BNA ETA It will only matter when you're there. 23. "Vanquished" (0:36) spoiler Vanquished Cross my fingers, hope to die What of it? I'm vanquished Cross my fingers, hope to die What of it? Exact science Did I say the wrong thing? Weehawken Stevie One-hitters have saved my life Cross my fingers, hope to die What of it? Not exact science I'm vanquished. 24. "Squairs In Pairs #3" (0:00) text rage And welcome back This is WABC Good Guys And Iím RSTVMO And we just heard the complete Breetles remaster For his 2nd album from 1006, called ďSquares In PairsĒ Hope you enjoyed it Weather We got the weather? Itís been pretty amazing Hereís the intense weather. 25. "Ever Do" (1:43) oral When she says she wants a drink, She really wants A DRINK Deny us no chemical relief This night can only end well Whaddya say to that? I would hope that there's got to be At least one among these that will do Hugging you from behind I gently slap up from the top of your forehead You know i'm so fed up With loving you so hard Do not disturbulance MF Doom mouse arrest Gary Warcrimes Haters gonna hate Distract and divert Jimmy Haystack Ziggy Sawdust Not only is it the last show of the tour But it's the last show we'll ever do Not only is it the first show of the tour But it's the first show we'll ever do. 26. "Dogtail Wag" (1:09) spoiler Dogtail wag Hush up You're under arrested development I am trending I am doomed It's a curse 8-Ball scratch I want you to live with me But only for one night Relationships complicate Enormous imagination of talents Grasping at straws Dogtail wag Impending disaster Hush up I want you to live with me But only for that one night. 27. "Only Love" (1:31) spoiler Only love Stretching is uniform Photonography Try using words Do birds have ears? Only love Rye and pump deli swirl No remarks, wise guy Brick and mortar Only love Courtney Love UK Tour (May) I'm gonna be in there Right when she is We gonna get together Only love Abundant redundant Reconnaissance Grip swing gaffer Town twinning The album you hold in your hands Only love Forever changesh Put me in your pocket and lock it Stretching is uniform Three-way high five I did nothing of the sort Three-way high five I did nothing of the sort Only love Conglomerate fearmongering Anastasia Salinger Thug merge BB, are you attached to an email? BB, are you attached to my email? Only love. 28. "The Gymn" (2:14) spoiler Commonplace Well, how'd that happen? That never happens The night sun Frigidaire stove Boiling icebox Ya ever get a hair in your mouth? Frigidaire stove Boiling icebox Into the freezer burn Hey, why are? Ayr my nasal gel High fructose corn syrup Where seldom is heard a discourging word And the skies are not cloudy all day Medicinal marinara I was throw flowers I the gymn Cottage industry Cottage cheese industry Industrial Same here Peanut brittle and eggs Yahoo taboo You can't unsee me You can't unhear me Commonplace Subscride Well, how'd that happen? That never happens. 29. "Tea" (7:08) oral roberts Good morning from Madison, Tennessee. Sunday, 8:30am. Would you come over here and help me vacuum my carpet? I still ain't done no vacuuming in 2 and a half years. I have a nice thick soft bunch of carpet rug, rugs, it's not rugs it's carpet. And it's trapped a whole helluva lot of dirt, & hair, dust bunnies. I just can't seem to get it together. *I just can't seem to get it together.* It's not that complicated. So I'm waiting for my tea to steep. Yecch. When Stevie has his own special blends (like he used to do with his wine... his "hobo wine"... a blend of merlot with cheap white chardonay... chablis, that's what it was. Chablis, to help water it down. Hamburger Helper). But with my hot tea in the mornings, I quit drinking coffee, you knew that, I prefer Twinings Classic teabags. They're a little expensive, but typically I stock up on 'em, so I never get too low. But I got a method to my madness: I put a Twinings Classic English Breakfast teabag, in the dark red package, and additionally I also include a standard Lipton teabag. I'm lead to believe, I guess, I'm the one that created this misconception, that having two teabags makes it stronger and ups the caffeine. Prove me wrong, I don't know. ("send MBV Ringtones to your cell!") But then when I'm done with that first cup, I come back in and do it again... but this time I use Twinings Classics Earl Grey tea, in the yellow package. And I go back and forth between the English Breakfast and the Earl Grey. But I always add a second bag to the cup... the Lipton. And I use soymilk, or "Silk"... just a little bit. No sugar, never sugar... I use honey on my cereal... but I never never use white sugar. Nor do I use salt. I use a thing called "NoSalt"... it's all the flavor without the sodium. And I stock up on that, too. Surprised? I stock up on lots of things because I don't drive a car, and am slowly becoming immobile. Even walking to the store to pick up essentials. So hey, why not, when I get the chance, buy two instead of one? It depends. ===================================================== Words by r. stevie moore (all pre-recorded) Music by alan jenkins (all post-recorded) All conception, constructionproduction, final mastering & sleeve design by AJ The musical background on "Electric my Acoustic" is partially by Cody Kurth, Macon GA All words & text rage published by ©Spunky Monkey Music (ASCAP) Full transcript available at the speaker's web portal: www.rsteviemoore.com/cd/embodiment.html Many other fine compact discs by R. Stevie Moore and/or Alan Jenkins are available at www.cordeliarecords.co.uk RSM photo by Donutshop Life Pylonhydrant photo by Moore Ton AJ photo possibly by Blodwyn P. Teabag? Gender wars wreak havoc in chaos run amok. Wanna make out? ___ The Wire reviewed this... R Stevie Moore & Alan Jenkins The Embodiment of Progressive Ideals Cordelia CD "Nashville's greatest underground music explorer makes a return with a new album of odd
ditties, strange sermons and recitations retrieved from discarded product packaging and
advertisement blurbs. Assisted by Deep Freeze Mice guitarist Alan Jenkins and The
Kettering Vampires, R Stevie Moore lets blurt a plethora of miniature monologues,
the bulk of which sound like they have been composed using the William S Burroughs /
Brion Gysin cut-up method. Hilarious, manic and tinged with a sense of despair, Moore's
latest laconic commentary on his own life, and the continually
warping world we all share with him, is a revelation." ___ OFFICIAL ISSUE CD (/29 tracks/autographed sealed digipack/) SALE US$15 + shipping

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